RESPONSIBILITY II

Life is a series of choices from birth to death.

Last week I wrote on responsibility as it is discussed in The Success Principles.  Though, taking full responsibility for your life is not as easy for some as it is for others.  You will never have control of your life until you abandon the notion of blame, and accept full responsibility for everything you’ve experienced in your past and from now on.  I know this concept might be difficult to fully understand or go along with, believe me, I know.  When I was first confronted with the notion that I had to be 100% responsible for everything that ever happened to me, I resented the idea almost instantly.  Some internal force, let’s call it intuition, told me to reject the concept.  This is a conditioned response I have towards a lot of things I hear or read, and it usually leads me to the correct answer or decision.  But in this case, I was conflicted.  I had unique biases that most never review in the inventory of their life experiences.  I was sexually, physically, and mentally abused for years as a child.  This was at the root; of a lot of unpleasant anger and social issues I experienced my entire life.  I fought this in my head for years, until I realized that there was something to this rule of success.  But how could I be responsible for bad things happening to me?  What did I do, that made these things a result of my action or inaction?  Well, the sad truth of the matter is… yes, I was abused, yes, I didn’t deserve it, and, through technicality, I am responsible for it happening the first time.  I did not run away from someone who beat me.  I trusted someone who sexually assaulted me.  I “allowed”, albeit through the most stringent application of the word, these terrible things to happen to me… the first time.    I am obviously responsible for every time after that.  I should have told a trusted outside party such as a counselor, teacher, or minister.  I didn’t.  I allowed these bad things to continue to happen to me for years and years.  Only my closet friends knew of my situation, but they could hardly empathize with what it was like to fear the very people that are supposed to protect you in this world.  So because of my fear, because of my doubts, and because of my hesitation, these horrible things continued for years.  I suffered more because I allowed myself to suffer.  You either create or allow everything that happens to you.  When you are experiencing something unpleasant, realize that you are responsible.  This accountability empowers you with awareness that you can change whatever circumstances you are facing.  Recognize that you have the ability to create and un-create your world at will.

"All blame is a waste of time." - Wayne Dyer